Depression

25 Aug 2024

Dream

dreamed I was going to school, like some kind of college, but the school I was going to was for people who had special talents. Mine was that I could handle guns really well, like expertly. I had been born with it. I dreamed I was basically in a firm and I had a crush on a guy who had the same ability as me, but we were both really shy so we didn't know how the other felt about each other. Also, in my dream I was thin again and loved to wear pretty dresses and high heels. There was another guy, one I absolutely hated cause he was such a jerk. He challenged me to a talent show, but Hus talent was far more complex than mine. here is the trick, if he won, he would become engaged to me. I didn't know any way to beat him so like 4 days go by, its the competition, and he beats me. I am in shock, but hes clearly thrilled. I kind of just get used to it. Everyone in my dorm thrilled for me but I start getting really depressed and angry. I'm basically getting ready to mrry this guy and no one has asked my opinion. I go to my room and see that the guy I had a crush on had sent me a gift. It was a sniper rifle, one I didn't own. I start sobbing in my room, but I use the strap to put it on my back anyway. I go to bed, but the next day I've determined to basically go on an adventure to find myself to see if I could handle living with this guy I hate. Everything about him just sets me off. I get on a bus with a friend and it goes around the city I live in. I meet a girl who sits next to us and she has a gorgeous incandescent dress. I'm sitting next to her when the color changes, and though I don't know her, and felt uncomfortable when she sat next to me, I tell her that her dress is a beautiful shade of indigo. She smiles and we start talking. hours later, me and a bunch of girls and the girl with the dress are all talking and we are discussing her dress. She says its purposefully incandescent so that everyone can see her dress in different colors. Eventually I go home, and the not nice guy I'm supposed to marry is there. he decides we should go to a concert together but its music I don't like, and I get mad at him. He makes me go anyway. We get there and there's a nice girl who obviously likes him, and they're getting along great. He asks me a question and I just grumble at him an he grumbes back at me. Suddenly we're are back in our dorm and my cousin is visiting (a cousin I've always had a crush on), and he tells me conradulation, and asks me how I'm doing. I tell him I'm doing great and I plaster a smile on my face even though, at thus point, I'm feeling miserable. The guy I'm supposed to marry barely knows me and he's a complete jeAt any rate, some how at the end the guy I'm supposed to marry let's me call off the wedding. I'm over the moon, and I go talk to the guy I have a crush on. We get along really great. Then I wake up.

16 Aug 2024

Dream

I was on a dating app and matched with a guy who we hit it off immediately we were automatically best friend's and started dating, he then told me he was straight, had major depression and diabetes so he couldn't always get hard on command and didn't always feel like having sex and wasn't sure he could be sexually attracted to me, I told him relationships weren't built on physical intimacy and we could do whatever he was comfy with whenever he felt like it, he looked at a naked girl for bit to get hard and then we banged.

26 Jul 2024

Dream

I was kissing my guy and it was like it was happening, I wasn’t watching like a movie how dreams normally look. He kept trying to pull away and look in my eyes but I wouldn’t make contact. He’s going through a depression so we aren’t talking a lot or spending time right now. I woke up confused.

25 Jul 2024

Dream

I had a dream my sister’s boyfriend , Derrick, had a church inside of his apartment complex. You had to pass it to leave his building. Me, and my nephews, Erik, and Elias, had spent the night with him and my sister, Amber. Before bed, Erik had went missing. Considering he had a history of running away, and being a curious kid, we figured that he had explored the place in his free time and must’ve gotten lost. So, me, Elias, Amber, and Derrick decided to check the church to see if he had been there. Halfway into the church, Elias said he didn’t want to look for him, because it started to bore him. He had been skeptical about the whole thing because Erik tends to play pranks. He then turned around, and skipped off. I chased after him up until we got to this gigantic door which led to the apartments. It had closed on us. Then, I realized that we’re all in big trouble. Something was off about this place. To begin with, it wasn’t an ordinary Church. It was abandoned in 1908. Yet it remained open to the public because it was a tourists attraction. The history behind it was bizarre, a posessed nun who had been in the building took her own life due to depression, and some say her spirit remains uneasy, and vindictive. Leeching onto humans, and sucking the life out of them to live the one she never had. I took Elias’s hand and ran towards Derrick and Amber, but something grabbed Elias. I don’t know what it was, but I couldn’t hold onto him much longer. I was alone, and scared. I kept running, even faster than before. I knew Amber and Derrick were in danger. But an instinct kicked in, I didn’t know exactly what. But, I knew that I too would be in the same position if I helped them. I ran out of the nearest exit in the church because there was more than one. I ran back to the apartment and slept the night. I couldn’t believe what happened, but it must’ve just been a bad dream. When I woke up in the morning, nobody was in the house. It was silent. I checked Amber’s location, to see if she had taken the boys to the store, or a local park. But, her location icon was blinking in the church, and disappeared. I rubbed my eyes, this can’t be. Then I received a text message from her, but surprisingly, it wasn’t blue. It was in black. “Time to repeat the cycle.” and all of the memories had flooded back to me about church. They were dead. They’re gone. Then I thought the nun, I did hear humming and singing in the church beforehand. But way before Erik went missing. It was her. I know it was.

15 Jul 2024

Dream

I was in this unfamiliar house. My estranged brother was showering upstairs. It was a long time that my brother didn't bathe cause his clothes was very musty but he also seem to not care. There was a long period of time my brother wasn’t bathing enough in my waking life and was often very smelly. It was really hard to be around him because he smelled so bad but it also seemed like he didn’t care. I went upstairs and his clothes was on the bathroom floor very stinky he went to the other room to get dressed. At some point it felt like my brother morphed into my abusive ex and he was getting dressed in the other room. Similarly to my brother there were long periods of time during my relationship with my ex where he didn't shower or took care of himself. He suffered with severe depression but it was often hard to be around him cause he smell so bad and he wouldn't shower. I had to adjust and get used to his lack of bathing because of his mental health condition. Due to his abusive qualities early on in our relationship he started to control when I would bathe. And I sometimes had to sneak to shower before he can tell me not to. Back to the dream I remember myself sneaking to take a shower because I was scared my abusive ex was going to force me not to bathe because he preferred my scent unbathed which I hated. I woke up before I finished the dream. But I remember the feeling of anxiety and worry of being forced not to bathe and trying to hide away from my brother then abusive ex.

12 Jul 2024

Dream

I was in my house. I was speaking to two friends and each of them were describing the house they rent. Then my father came and got in bed and we were trying to ask him how his apartment was. He seemed very depressed. But he said his apartment was cute. I felt sad and guilty for him.