Therapist

17 Aug 2024

Dream

I dreamed I was with my son and we were on the fields relaxing and spending time with one another. He needed to go to the store. I said he could drive but I ended up driving him. As we were heading down the road I tried to stop the car but the brake came out of the floor of the car. We spent around a couple of times and then I got out & my son drove to the store by his-self. Then I was back in the fields standing by another car & my therapist came to visit me. She started to ask me how I was doing. I was feeling sad or possibly depressed. I couldn’t figure out why. Then my all of sudden my daughters, my son, and granddaughters pulled up and I felt overwhelmed with anxiety. They were draining my spirit! Asking for this and that! Then they gathered up & left. So me & my therapist walked to her house. We met up with her husband & friends. As I was about to sit down I recognized someone’s watch was in the grass. But isn’t wasnt just one watch it was about ten. It was the husbands belongings & someone was trying to steal them. The husband friend joked that he could have been me. But I called him out! I said the Devil is the father of lies and so is he. He may have been joking but I began to speak in tongues and speak my identity in Christ! Then we all began to praise and worship God! I cried out to God in such a mighty way! Then I woke up still praising God in my waking life!

3 Aug 2024

Dream

I’m cleaning the house… it is very messy. My husband is bringing home his doctor, a therapist to visit. I’m upstairs and about to vacuum the staircase when they enter. I warn them to be careful because there is a little water on the floor. They come upstairs and are looking for a place to sit down. My husband turns over a box and tells the doctor he can sit there. The doctor is a young man, dressed in jeans and a button down. He’s very casual. I tell them they can sit at the table. The doctor comes to sit on the couch where it is covered in new cushions with the plastic still on. He changes his mind when he sees the plastic. I tell him he’s welcome to sit, that I’m just going to remove the plastic in a bit. He notices a puzzle on the floor that I have been working on and cones over and comments on how much he likes this dragon series which the puzzle is based on. He shows me a trick to solving the puzzle, another way of looking at the puzzle. I proceed to put the puzzle together quickly with his help. He moves away. My younger sister is nearby but she is very young like she was a little girl. We begin working on the puzzle with me showing her the new trick. She does something that messes up the puzzle. I panic a little and call the doctor over for help. He tells me it is an easy fix and them moves away. He comments on a dvd he notices and I tell him I just felt like watching a silly funny movie… we sight about different scenes he recalls from the movie. I start working on the puzzle again and find I have made good progress but mess it up again. I call him and then stop myself and apologize for keeping him away from my husband. He is not bothered at all and we start to talk about another movie. My husband looks over and I tell the doctor thank you, and that I will leave them be.

12 Jul 2024

Dream

For some reason I had two therapist the one I have in my waking life and another one that was an unfamiliar white man. I went to this outdoor event with a band playing music and my white male therapist was there. We ended up chatting and he was saying something to me and I couldn't make out what he said. He thought I was listening to him but really I didn't hear what he said. He got upset with me for not listening but I explained to him I couldn't hear him over the band. He was pretty defensive but we moved on. Later on I met a new unfamiliar female friend at the event. We chatted and the same thing happened and I couldn't hear something she was saying and she asked me do I need to repeat something to me three times and she mockingly told me something three times and I told her don't do that. I couldn't hear her over the band. Later on we were hanging out and I was telling her about how I’ve experienced losing two friends in my lifetime. The one who broke our friendship a few years ago and another friend I was close to back in college that I distanced myself from her after several instances of her crossing my boundaries. The friend I broke up with I reconnected with her soon after I moved to NC. She apologized for her actions towards the end of our college career and soon after but our friendship never quite became close again. Nor did I ever wanted it to. And now we just follow each other on social media and that's it. When I started to tell her about the friend that broke up with me I decided to pull up our last text message exchange ad share it with her. I pulled something up and started reading it but it wasn't the text from the old friend I quickly realized it was a text message from my white male therapist. Accusing me of lying about not listening and that I lied to him that it was the band. He shared a long paragraph indicating other negative untruthful things about me and that he no longer wanted to be my therapist. But I also felt like the therapist was acting pretty unethical because I had this feeling he romantically liked me. Anywho, after reading it I was really hurt. I was hesitant to share the text with my new unfamiliar friend because he accused me of not listening just like she did earlier but I gave her heads up of that and told her anyways. Later on I met with my black female therapist who is actual my therapist in my waking life. Told her everything that happened with the other therapist and she was very empathetic with me and felt sorry that I experienced that from a fellow therapist. I felt seen and heard like I usually do with my therapist. Later on I went to a party and I saw my therapist there. We chatted and quickly became actual friends. I was dating this guy and it was early on in our dating life and after several interactions he became pretty pushy. There was a moment I told him I really liked him and he told me he loved me. Which I thought was weird cause it was very early on. And he flirtingly insisted I tell him I love him back which I didn't want to but I did cause I didn't want to make me feel bad. I felt love-bombed and I got a feeling that I was starting a new abusive cycle similar to the one I had with my abusive ex in my waking life at the beginning of our relationship but it just looked differently. Later on my therapist was realizing how pushy my date was being to me and she decided to stand up for me and tell him to back off and stop treating me that way. She later on told me this isn't something I wouldn't do as a therapist but since we're friends now I can do that. We hugged and I felt bitter sweet. Because I was happy to have her as friend but I also knew that meant she had to terminate our therapist-and-client relationship because it would be unethical for us to still be connected this way. I was worried about finding a new therapist because she was the first therapist in my waking life I really felt fully connected to and I've made significant progress with. All my other therapist weren't the right fit. Later on in the dream, I was hanging out with a bunch of people seemingly friends but my estranged brother was also there. We were playing different outdoor games like football and soccer. I helped kick off the games and get everyone excisted to play we would start playing and then when my brother decided to leave to do something else people would stop and start following him. In the last game we started to play soccer and he went inside to do something else and folks just started playing. And I asked why folks were folks were leaving and not interested in playing anymore and it was basically because my brother left. I hated that. It was like folks followed up and didn't think for themselves. It kind of remind me in our waking life before I stopped speaking to my brother he was a devout Christian and a pastor. Very gifted preacher and at some point became a youth pastor at a church in Randolph, MA. After a few years he wasn't seeing eye to eye with the main pastor there and decided to leave, a lot of folks left the church as well. He attempted to start his own church and that kind of dwindled down but he still had devout followers one of which was one of his youth members at the old church and they started dating. She was 15 when they met and he was 27. They didn't have a relationship beyond pastor and member until she became of legal age soon after she went to college and they started to like each other more than friends. A few years ago he converted into a Black Hebrew Isrealite. We started to become more distant soon after I went off to college and he became a youth pastor but I decided to stop speaking with him altogether soon after he became a Black Hebrew Isrealite. He was more unbearable, condescending and patronizing. It was miserable to speak and relate to him. Now we're completely estranged and he married that young woman he basically groomed. The dream ended with everyone not playing soccer anymore and i had this feeling of annoyance against my brother again and I once again kept my distance from him.

4 Jul 2024

Dream

I was in a group activity and it was facilitated by some sort of therapist or counselor. The activity entailed a writing component about yourself and the other partner. We were instructed to glue the two writing components together, though only the top paper could be read. I had an excited feeling that I understood the activity and what the therapist was trying to accomplish or demonstrate. That was: partners are similar and alike in many ways. The glued writing piece was then mounted on one’s side of a faded yellow construction paper. There was some childlike drawings on the remaining half of the colored paper. The project along with other in the group were hung from the ceiling as a sort of display.